**with apologies to CBS**
Welcome dear readers to a new feature here on the Acre. Yes, we have our own version of Survivor playing out in our main bathroom!
As you may (or may not....I won't hold it agin' ya) recall, DS received a fish tank for his sixth birthday earlier this month. It was quite the family excursion heading out to the local pet retailer to pick out the lovely 7-gallon hexagon shaped tank, some wonderful Greek column ornaments and even a couple plastic plants to decorate the tank. We setup the fish-less tank and let it run for a couple days to "purify" the tap water and remove all the deadly chemicals that the local water resource folks seem to think are necessary for "human" life.
After receiving a clean bill of health from our experts at the pet retailer, we then had the glorious task of choosing inhabitants for our tank. We chose wisely based on advice from the young but seasoned professionals on duty that evening: a catfish (bottom feeder for "cleaning up" around the tank), a pair of fantail guppies, a pair of silver hatchet fish and a pair of rainbowfish. Our selections were blessed by both our clever "netter" and by the clerk who happily took our money and explained the two week guarantee.
Two week? Heck, these fishies will be lifelong companions!
The first challenge was coordinating the "floating" of the bags on the relatively small surface area of the tank to acclimate the new additions. This was managed by limiting the bags to one float at a time (we had three total) and after the required 20 minutes we deftly netted the new fish and carefully lowered them into the pristine environment.
An hour later, all seven were happily swimming around checking out the new digs. This was Monday evening.
By Tuesday, trouble in paradise. The catfish was disturbingly quiet in a back "corner" of the tank. DS noticed during the evening feeding. What's a mother to do? "He's sleeping. It's late for fishes." After DS went to bed I rescued the carcass from the tank and carefully packaged it up for return. He didn't notice in the morning (whew). DH made the swap surreptitiously during the day and a happily swimming catfish was once again present for dinner on Wednesday.
First disaster/life lesson averted.
Three happy days go by. The fish are swimming, the filter is filtering and all is well in the tank.
Evidently one of the silver hatchet fish lost its bid for immunity. The challenge? To swim *under* one of the Greek column ornaments. He got stuck and none of his tank mates came to the rescue (no tribes in this group). As this was not an "unexplained" death, we chose to conduct the "burial at sea" ourselves rather than sneak back to the retailer yet again. I rearranged the ornaments in the tank slightly to remove the possibility of any other misguided contestant trying the same stunt.
At this point things start looking sinister. The next inhabitant voted out is the other silver hatchet fish. Evidently the loss of his alliance partner is literally, the death of him. No apparent illness....no injury....just found stuck against the filter tube one afternoon.
By this time, DS has realized he's losing tank residents. He takes it well, understanding that sometimes little fish want to swim in the big ocean in the sky rather than be confined to a small tank (hey, *you* want to explain that better?). As we bought pairs for the most part, losing both of one species isn't too tough to take. We promise to rebuild the population......
Again, we're good for a few days. The guppies have staked out territory towards the bottom of the tank (they actually rest on the bottom at night...amazing) while the rainbowfish are happy in the upper half of the tank. The catfish has taken a liking to the smaller of the Greek column ornaments and spends his time either hanging off of it or the side of the glass.
And I'm sure you can see what's coming next....yup, one of the guppies loses its torch. This challenge appears to have been something along the lines of "swim thru the plastic plant" as we found him at the base of the taller of the two. We remove the carcass and share a few words before hitting "flush."
We're down to The Final Four.
Once again, we have a couple days of breath-holding to see if further votes are held. No change. The remaining inhabitants appear content, swimming lazily around, learning that when the light goes on food soon follows and just being fish. No unusual appearance or behavior (I've had a few fish in my time....they looked fine to me).
Then....a middle of the night Tribal Council. An upset. Not one, but *two* voted out! Was it a secret alliance? A murder-suicide pact? What brought down the other guppy and the catfish? Two contestants with apparently no connection? Are we watching a modern day "Ten Little Indians" mystery? How have the rainbowfish survived this long? All extraneous ornaments/plants have been removed from the tank to better track the occupants.
Wait....an autopsy reveals a clue. A bit of "fuzziness" around the head of the catfish (no evidence on the guppy). Ah ha! We find the sinister figure lurking in the tank: Ick. Unseen but deadly with this gruesome evidence revealed only in the latter stages of infection. Closer inspection of the final pair reveal one has been infected with the terminal fuzziness....it's only a matter of time for him.
Sure enough, early Saturday morning we indeed see the results of the final vote. 13 days later we have a single fish remaining. Consultation with the pet retailer experts confirmed the ick diagnosis and treatment of our "Sole Survivor" is underway. His outlook is good. If he survives until Saturday (big *if* based on history), he'll get a major water change and based on the results of a water test, he *may* get a few new buddies in the tank. We'll see.
As for DS? He's suffering no ill effects from this new Survivor series. He never witnessed us removing any of the "losers" from the tank and rather likes the sparse environment - the better to see Cramer afterall (wouldn't you know its the fish named after the cop that outlives them all?)